I don't understand why am I.
I should be enjoying life.
Not suffering from this misery.
Why do I keep having hallucinations at night ?
Is that a message from the future ?
Why do I keep thinking of you ?
There's so many ppl in Coral, but you ?
My smile & laugther decreased.
Smthn struck me hard on that day.
But I agreed to the terms that you made.
I should be free, but I'm feeling lonely.
This undescribeable feeling,
The mind, the body,
The cravings, the wishes,
It's just not enough.
I should be fine,
but why I'm not ?
just smile (:
Kinda stress with a few stuff, thats why I didn't.
Family, friends, studies, environment are all affecting me ;
Studies for next term.
Friends thats unworthy.
I need a friend to talk for all of these probs.
I don't wanna post or write these feelings,
I wanna let it go.
I want to be free out of these,
I want freedom.
I want solution.
I want you.
I want to complete my 5 daily prayers.
I wanna smoothen my Quran readings.
I want Muslim knowledge badly.
I failed my objectives as a muslim.
I respect your decision.
I know its my fault, not talking with you anymore.
But I'm in great pain when you sent that MSG.
For me, that was the end.
Even the word 'friend', doesnt exist between us anymore.
I'm still feeling the pain, till today.
Whatever makes you happy, I do it for you.
Therefore, this is it.
Whats the point for me to continue living. Tell me.
everyday is boring day for me.
I was shocked.
& upset too.